It's time to find a new sexy party.

I've decided to stop posting provocative pictures of myself.


Part of the reason is that I want to be a role model for children. And children should be mortally ashamed of their private parts. Even their public parts- hide them with a burlap sack.


Really, it's because I am totally indifferent to strangers possibly making balloon animals with their penises at the expense of my lady gravy. Back in the day-day when I was every kind of high all the time, this seemed like the perfect solution to a miserable heart. But the imaginary sound of anonymous dick-beating has lost it's cadence.


I only put them up there to get a specific man's attention and now I'd rather just go twice as explicit and send them out directly to said man.


It's difficult to be complicated when you have poor management skills. So let me have my chance at perverted intimacy rather than having to render myself emotionally available with a man who is emotionally unavailable.


This is kind of the same sort of thing when you talk to an animal and are hopelessly convinced that it understands every word you say.


Anyway, there are some old ones around, but you have to troll. If you came for the PG-13 jerk-off, you best hurry it along to live jasmine before the FUGs come on.